E Tū vigil day 66, rick day 7

A tougher day.  I’ve lost my sleep,  one of the things I can usually count on to carry me along.  Gone!  My energy is shifting too.  Few reserves.   I’m reminded of my more carbon oblivious days when international travel was a fun adventure – my son and I trekked in the Himalayas.   The oxygen at 5,000 meters was thin and insufficient and I crawled up the last 500 meters.  It’s getting a bit like that now.   It’s alright.  Just have to lean in and try to embrace the discomforts.

A stimulating dialog with a young Brazilian pair today.   Bolsenaro has much support on the ground,  they said (for more on his ascension to power, check out ‘the edge of democracy’ doco https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/18/movies/edge-of-democracy-review.html).  The pair described how the situation in Brazil is of those who support unfettered industrial growth and who justify the critical and cruel blows to the Brazilian Amazon in the name of wealth generation,  versus those whose heart lies with bio diversity, interdependence, a future that’s liveable. 

I am ritualising drinking and imbibing my broth in the evenings.   It’s a single cup, and I bring my full attention to sitting and smelling and breathing and the divine taste and the warmth of the bowl in my hands.  I want to be this mindful and present and grateful for the privilege of being alive.

Kieran is a rock.   Thank you for interrupting your work day once again Kieran to come down especially and fetch all the heavy stuff.  Thank you too to Hiro who supported me and also carried piles of stuff back up the hill at the end of the day.  My psychotherapy colleague and friend, Fran, came by and tried to persuade TVNZ who were nearby to interview (not this time).  My brother David.  My niece’s partner Jackson, who spoke so proudly of his brand-new-in-the-world first born son. Ah the joy and the weight of holding little ones through all of this.

To the young children.  On behalf of my generation.   I don’t know what to say to you.  Call us blind,  arrogant,  greedy,  entitled,  addicted,  disconnected,  lost.   All those words fit for me.

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